


Tracing Patterns

by Wunderlust



Category: Starship - Team StarKid
Genre: Backstory, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 03:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7025026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wunderlust/pseuds/Wunderlust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of how Taz and Up became who they are now and how their relationship was built.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic years ago when Starkid was my life and i needed an outlet, let me know how you like it. Most recent chapter was written last summer. Can continue if enough people like it. Thank you :) hope you like it!

Everyone has patterns, it could be your morning routine or how you exercise, everyone including Taz and Up. Ever since Bugworld the galaxy has been pretty calm, there are little upsets but they send new Rangers on those missions to train.

Since there hasn't been any missions to go on, Taz and Up have fallen into a pattern together. It consists of, getting up early and going to the gym, showering, eating breakfast, then training recruits and eating lunch. Next they hang out with the crew and eat dinner. Finally they watching a movie in Up's room and go to bed to repeat the same thing the next day.

Both were happy and content with seeing each other all day and sticking to their routine. But soon their pattern was going to be broken.

"Hey Taz", Up said with a smile as they met in front of the gym. "Hola, Up", Taz said walking past him through the doors and heading straight to the weights.

"You okay?" "Yeah… Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know…", Up said as he picked up some weights. Taz just stood there with her back to him, not moving.

"Taz." whispered Up as he put his and on her shoulder, "What’s wrong?"

"My nightmares are back." she barely whispered as she turned around.

Up almost gasped at the pain he saw in her eyes, not to mention she looked like she hadn't slept in days.  _How could I have not noticed this?_  Up silently asked himself. He pulled Taz to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Taz tensed up and then relaxed and hugged him back.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked, his voice slightly muffled by his hair.

"Since last Thursday."

"Six days! How come you didn't tell me? More importantly, why didn't I notice?"

"It’s okay, I am tough, remember?" she said with a slight smile as she stepped back.

"…they are worse than last time." a shudder went through her small form.

"Come on, we are going to my room." Up said as he grabbed her hand and started towards his room. He entered his code (20126) and turned the light on.

"Now go put these on." he handed her one of his black T-shirts and some shorts.

"Alright."

As she shut the door he walked over to the DVD player and turned it on. While he was watching the previews Taz walked out and smiled.

"So what are we doing?" Up jumped and turned around, "Relaxing." he sat back against the pillows and patted the spot next to him. Taz sat next to him and they watched the movie for a while. Then, Up put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.

Taz was laying her head on his chest and he was running his fingers through her hair.

"You know if it weren't you, I would have killed you." she said smiling up at him.

"I know", Up said with a wink. Taz turned her head away so he couldn't see her blush.  _He is your best friend, stop reacting like this!_  She thought.

Neither were paying attention to the movie anymore, Up was relishing in the moment of her in his arms and Taz had started tracing a pattern on his shirt while sorting out her feelings. Eventually her eyes got heavy and she dozed off. Up got the remote and turned off the TV and looked at the time. It was 7:30. Breakfast started at eight and people would start to talk if he and Taz both didn't show up.

So he took out his communicator and sent a message to his team. It said Taz and him were taking the day off, and two of them were going to have to cover their training class. A few minutes later he got a message from Specs saying she and Krayonder were on it.

 _Might as well sleep too…_ Up thought as he pulled Taz closer and drifted off to sleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont own anything Starkid and I really hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Up was woken up a few hours later when Taz started to thrash in her sleep. "Taz…Taz…Taz!" he yelled as he tried to wake her up. She flew out of bed and went to punch him when she realized what was happening.

"Lo siento, Up." she said as she ran her hands over her face.

"It’s okay, you wanna talk abo-" he didn't even finish before she snarled "No."

"Okay if you’re sure." Up looked so concerned she almost broke down and told him but she couldn't. There was no way in hell she would tell him about the dreams now.

"Well, it’s only 10 o'clock, so why don't you lie down and sleep; you look like you still need it."

"Sure, thanks." she said as she laid down and got comfortable.

Up laid there until he was sure she was asleep and kissed her forehead. He needed to go and see how Specs and Krayonder were doing. "I'll be right back." he whispered as he shut the door behind him.

Little did he know that Taz was wide awake and was once again fighting her feelings.  _That kiss meant nothing. You are the toughest person on this ship; you don't get emotions like this._ She kept repeating until she fell asleep again.

Taz was dancing with her dad at her Quinceanera and she felt on top of the world. Then the screaming started and the robots showed up destroying everything and everyone in their path. “Taz, corre!" yelled her father as he looked around for a weapon. “Papa te amo!" Taz yelled as she ran away.

As she ran the screams got less and less as the bodies got more and more. Taz tried to run into the house and hide but tripped over something. It was an arm, her mother's arm. Taz dropped down and pushed her hair out of her eyes as tears fell down her face.

She didn't have time to do anything else, because two metallic hands grabbed her wrists and started dragging her away. She screamed as loud as she could. It dragged her to a tree in her backyard and tied a rope around her ankles. Just then Up came running over to her. Taz was screaming Spanish at the top of her lungs and struggling to get free. All of a sudden robot fell over, it was shot straight through it chest. Taz went silent and saw Up sneak up behind one of the three remaining robots. One by one they fell and then Taz was being let down.

“Gracias." she said in a shaking voice.

“Are you okay?" he asked and Taz looked at his face. He looked like he was a few years older than her. He had light brown hair and the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen.

“Yeah." she said as she pushed out of his arms.

As she took her first step away a terrible pain shot through her right ankle and she fell to the ground.

“What hurts?" he asked as he knelt down.

“My right ankle but I am fine."

“Are you sure?"

“Si." he helped her up and she didn't even take a step before she started to fall and he caught her.

“I’m going to carry you." Taz started to argue. "No arguments." He picked her up bridal style and head for a ship.

“So what's your name?" he asked as he glanced down.

She noticed his southern drawl. "Taz."

"What's yours?" "Up." "What kind of name is that?" "I should ask you the same thing." Up said with a smirk.

Taz almost smiled until she remembered why she was here. Tears threatened to fall so she asked him another question.

“Where are you from?" "Alabama." Taz heard the pain in his voice and was rendered speechless. It was silent for a few minutes before Up barely whispered, “You’re not alone, you have me if you want." She looked up and stared into his amazing eyes. "Thank you."

Up smiled and said, “So, what do you want to do? Cuz, I think you could make a great Starship Ranger. I could even be your mentor."

“Really?"

Up never got an to answer that question because he was shot in the back by a robot. Taz fell out of his arms as he dropped to the ground. She crawled over to him and started sobbing. He was shot straight through his heart and was losing too much blood.

“Up! Up! You can’t die! You’re all I have!" she yelled into his chest. “Now it’s your turn." a monotone voice said. Taz looked at it and saw that it had its gun against her head. “Go ahead! I have nothing left."

The last thing she heard before she woke up was a horrible laugh and a blaster shot. Taz opened her eyes and saw that it was about 3 o'clock. She got up and went to the bathroom. When she looked into the mirror she saw tear tracks and red eyes.  _Pull yourself together!_

She mentally scolded herself and splashed cold water on her face.  _It was just a dream._

“Let’s go find Up." she said after calming down.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Please comment and kudo it helps alot ~ xoxo Catie :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont own anything Starkid and I hope you like this chapter :)

Up, meanwhile, was in a strange situation… When he went to go check on Specs and Krayonder he found another person in their place. It was a man who looked to be a year or two older than Taz. He had dark curly black hair, bright emerald green eyes, and golden tan skin.

“Umm.. Excuse me, who are you?", Up asked as the man turned towards him.

"Lieutenant Derek Valdez."

"Well Lt. Valdez, why are you teaching my class instead of my privates?"

"Well  ** _Commander_** , they never showed up." Derek said sarcastically while raising his eyebrows.

"Don't you dare speak to me in that tone! Who is your Commander?"

"Commander Price."

"Who?"

"Commander John Price."  _Where did all these people come from?_

"We just got in from earth yesterday," Derek said with a smirk. "You spoke out loud." he said answering Up's confused expression.

"Why were you and whoever was with you on earth, and why are you here now?" Up asked getting annoyed.

“Well the all famous Commander Up, We were on earth going through all the runes of destroyed villages in Mexico. We finally finished after eight years of it. So the G.L.E.E. wanted us on this starship to help out. Did that answer enough questions or do you have more?" Derek said in a mocking sweet tone, his eyes daring Up to do something.

Up stood there for a few seconds and then took one big step forward. He was standing so close to Derek that he could see the freckles on his nose. "You make one more remark like that and I will rip you apart limb by limb.”, Up whispered in a deadly tone.

"You don't scare me Up, you’re not the man you once were. Now why don't you run away and cry in a dark corner."

And with that Up punched him. Derek fell to the ground clutching his nose and blood was pouring through his hands. Up was standing there visibly shaking with anger and yelled "Someone get him out of here!" But no one moved, all of the students were frozen with shock. Up pointed at a tall red headed boy to his right, “Take him out or you fail your training." The boy quickly ran to Derek, helped him up, and left. "Everyone can leave early." Up said taking a seat on a bench and dropping his head into his hands.

_What just happened? I just punched a Lieutenant and lost control. You are not weak. You are Up, the toughest Commander known in the galaxy. You went soft once but swore never to again._

"Up? Hey Up? Are you okay?" It was Taz.

Up picked up his head and smiled slightly, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Taz sat next to him, "Liar, on my way here some students told me what happened and I saw the guys nose, well the blood from it. So do you wanna tell me the truth?"

"He basically called me weak. It pissed me off so I punched him… I thought I had put that all behind me but I guess not."

Taz didn't say anything but just took his hand and held it. To Up it helped more than words ever could. It meant so many things but it mainly meant I am here and we will get through this together. Up turned and pulled her into a hug.

"Thanks Taz. I honestly don't know what I would do without you. You know I lo-."

Someone cleared their throat, "Commander your wanted in Captain Johnson's office.", it was the ensign who helped Derek. "Okay, I am on my way."

The ensign left and he turned to Taz. "I'll see you at dinner okay?" Taz nodded and he left without another word. She sat there for a minute going over what just happened.  _Was he going to say he loved me? **No**. Even if it was it would be friendship love._  Taz shook her head to clear it,  _now let’s go find out who this cabron is._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any feedback is great ~xoxo Catie :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! enjoy the chapter!

During that amount of time Up had made it to the Captain's office. He wasn't worried though; Captain William Johnson was a good friend. They had both trained at the same time. The Captain was around 6' foot and had blond/grey hair and dark blue eyes. He was two years older than Up, he was 32 and Up was 30. You wouldn't guess that they were that young with their grey hair. The robot wars had affected them both heavily. Up knocked and opened the door.

"Hey Cap't you wanted to see me?"

"Yeah go ahead and sit down."

"So I am guessing this about that Lieutenant I punched."

"Actually, no. Your ensigns came in right after and told me everything. They asked that I not punish you. It was that brats fault not yours."

Up raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Well I will have to thank them, but then why am I here?"

Johnson smiled and said "I just wanted to use the little free time I had to talk to you. We haven't talked in a long time and I wanted to catch up."

"Oh well you know not much has been going on, just hangin' with Taz and training and shit since Bugworld. Not much to do, but it’s nice having some down time."

"How's Taz?"

"She's okay. She seems to be enjoying the down time as well."

Captain Johnson noticed how Up would smile slightly and how his eyes would light up when he would talk about Taz, even if it was just a few words or just her name.

_They are perfect for each other, why hasn't he said anything yet?_  Johnson thought and decided to ask.

"So Up why haven't you made a move for Taz?"

Up choked, "What are you talking about?"

"Really?" the Captain asked sarcastically," You know what I mean."

"No, no I don't."

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" the Captain took one look at Up's confused expression and thought,  _Wow, he really has no idea._

"You." He pointed at Up. "Love." He made a heart with his hands. "Taz." He pulled a picture of the three of them out of his desk.

Up sat there and looked at the picture for a while and looked back at Johnson. He blinked innocently waiting for a response.

_Come on Up, your smarter than this. Quit denying it._  The Captain thought right before Up spoke.

"Is it that obvious?"

"To everyone but you and Taz."

"Well…shit…What do I do?"

"You go sweep her off her feet! She loves you too, do it's a piece of cake." Johnson said smiling and walking over to him.

"How do you know she loves me?" Up asked standing up.

"Whenever you’re mentioned, she smiles. Whenever you’re around she lets her guard down and is happy. When you touch her she leans into your touch." He clapped him on the back, "Now go get her!"

"Thanks, William."

"No problem _."_

_I know I promised Taz six years ago I would never tell him but someone had to make a move._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? ~xoxo Catie :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey enjoy :)

*FLASH BACK!*

It was Up's 24th birthday and Taz had planned a surprise party for him. They were talking a few weeks ago and he told her he had never had a real birthday party because his family didn't have the money. This gave Taz an idea for a present, a party of course. Up was a very liked person and was sought after by many women, so it would be pretty big. Taz sent Johnson and Up's brother Andrew James, AJ for short, to spread the word. They had to make sure Up didn't find out as well.

She had it all planned out, it would be held at the never used ballroom on base, the cooks from the kitchen were catering as a gift, she would bake the cake, and two girls from her class were helping her with decorations. It would be on his actual birthday, a Saturday, which was a day off. Taz would have to keep him busy that day.

Saturday came and Taz was up at three in the morning to start the cake. It would be a two tier chocolate cake. She made homemade batter and put the cakes in the oven. She ate breakfast and forty-five minutes later the cakes were done. She left them to cool and got dressed. It was 4:30 and she had just enough time to drop them off in the kitchen and meet Up at the gym at 5. She left a note to Mary, the head cook, that she would be back later to finish them. Taz got there exactly at the same time as Up. _Operation best birthday is in action… wow… that was lame,_ she thought.

"Hey Taz!", Up said with a big smile.

"Hey idiota you wouldn't know the date would you?" she asked sarcastically.

"Hmm it seems to be July 21st."

"Oh okay… Just another Saturday then." she said smirking.

"Guess so."

She looked at him for a second before saying, "Happy birthday Up."

"Thanks Tazzy." he said pulling her into a surprise hug.

Taz melted into him and hugged back. _We don't hug a lot... We should... It feels amazing in his arms…It feels safe._ She thought while was trying to ignore the warm feeling he was getting. They eventually let go.

"Ready to get your birthday ass-kickin?" She asked smugly.

"You seem so sure I'll lose."

"I’m not sure…I know." she replied walking in the gym, Up following chuckling.

Three hours later and many, many sparring matches later they went to shower and meet for breakfast at 9 in the mess hall. Taz took a really fast shower and headed to the kitchen to finish the cake. "Hey Taz, I moved the cake over to the smaller table." Mary said pointing to it. For the two years Taz has been in the academy, she has become friends with a lot of people, and Mary was one of them.

"Okay, do you have frosting?"

"Yeah, in the cupboard behind you."

"Thanks Mary, for everything. I am sure Up will be as thankful as I am you are cooking tonight. No one else loves you steaks like him." Taz said frosting the cakes.

Twenty minutes later she was done the cake was covered in blue frosting since it was Up's favorite color and it read "Happy Birthday Up!" in black frosting. Around it was a starship and a zapper drawn out in frosting as well. Not many people knew that Taz was a talented artist and could draw anything perfectly. Mary walked over and exclaimed "Wow! Taz this is amazing! He will love it!"

"Thank you, I got to go. Don't forget it when you bring the rest of the food."

Taz walked out and headed to the mess hall. She got her food and sat down with Johnson and AJ. "Okay, you two need to take Up and do something for two hours. I have to do the decorations and make sure everything it ready for tonight."

"Where should we take him?" Johnson asked AJ.

"There is an action movie showing at the old movie theater down the street." he responded looking at Taz for approval.

"Sure he'll like that. Thanks guys." Taz said looking for Up.

She spotted him walking towards the table but he was stopped by a long red headed girl. They had a short conversation and he came over and sat down. _Why is he talking to that bimbo? Why do I care?_

"Who was that?" she asked him in a slightly irritated tone.

"Amanda, she is a mentor as well and was wishing me a happy birthday." he replied with questioning eyes. _Why is she upset?_

"Oh." and with that she went back to eating.

Johnson looked between the two and thought _What was THAT? Is Taz jealous?_ He looked at AJ who shrugged his shoulders and said, "Happy Birthday Bro. How does it feel to be 24?"

"Thanks and no different really."

"So after breakfast Johnson and I are taking you to an action movie down the street."

"Cool, sounds fun. Taz are you coming?"

"I can't sorry, but have fun with los chicos."

Taz finished her breakfast and went to the ballroom. There where table against the walls and a boxes on the ground. Two girls were looking in one of the boxes.

"Hey Grace and Rose what's in there?"

"Oh hi Taz, just the table cloths." Rose answered, she was tall, thin with straight blonde hair and green eyes. Grace was short, not as thin with curly brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Okay so let’s get down to business."

Two hours later the room looked amazing. When you walked in there were round tables set up for dinner. Off to the right there was a long rectangular table set up for the cake, presents and the non-alcoholic drinks. To the left was the bar and beyond the table was the dance floor. Back against the back wall was the DJ booth and above that hung a banner that said "Happy Birthday Up!" in elegant writing. The tables were cover in deep blue table cloth and white fairy lights (or Christmas lights) were hung on the wall and from the ceiling. The room looked like you were in the calm of space.

"That's perfect. Thank you, he will love the room." Taz said.

"You’re welcome, is the least we can do. We didn't have much money for a present. I hope likes this as our present." Grace said.

"He will. Well I have to go, see you tonight!" Taz said walking out.

_Alright, Food? Check. Cake? Check. Decorations? Check. Now all I have to do is keep him distracted_. She thought while walking to Up's room.

She got there and entered the code to get in. Taz walked in and was going to call out but she was pulled to the ground and a hand was slammed over her mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments mean the world ~xoxo Catie :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you? Please enjoy it!

*FLASHBACK*

"What is going on?" Taz yelled out looking at her attacker.

"SHHHH!" AJ tried to quiet her down, "We have to be quiet or the enemies will find us." He handed her a zapper that shot out foam bullets. "Our objective is to get through here to the main bedroom and capture the flag, without getting caught/shot. If you do get caught/shot you have to do want the other person wants you to do." He explained with a smile.

"Let me guess, the movie inspired you three to act like a bunch of kids." she said in a teasing tone.

"Of course! But your now one as well." he said with a smirk.

Taz laughed and AJ reminded her to be quiet, then gestured for her to stay low and watch out for Up and Johnson. She shook her head and they moved forward. Crouched to the ground, they moved up the hallway and ran to the back of a couch. They looked around and the coast was clear. All they had to do was get through the kitchen and down another short hallway to Up's room. Taz told AJ to go first and she would follow. He looked around and sprinted to the counter in the kitchen and ran behind the fridge. He gave Taz a thumbs up and she ran to the counter but when she went to run to the fridge Johnson came out of the corner behind AJ. He held the zapper at AJ and said "Don't try to run, you’re trapped. You have to do exactly what I say."

AJ turned shocked. "Ugh! How did I not see you? Fine. What do I have to do?" he asked irritated he got caught.

Johnson laughed and said "You have to do the chicken dance in front of everyone at dinner tonight while asking Sarah out."

AJ sputtered trying to come up with an excuse, "Bu-Bu-But... You... In front of everyone? You’re cruel."

"You would never ask her if I didn't make you. She likes you too. Also she loves to laugh so it's a win, win." Johnson said laughing at AJ's expression. Taz saw her opportunity and ran as fast as could down the hallway to Up's room. Right as she reached for the handle Up swung open the door.

"There is no way you’re winning now Taz." He said watching her every move.

"Oh yeah? Watch me." She said ducking under his arm and grabbing the flag. "I got the flag!" Taz yelled out.

"Yes! Good job Taz!" AJ yelled back.

She turn towards Up a smirk of victory on her face, "We win. You lose! Now whatcha going to do?"

"This." he said tackling her to the bed and starting to tickle her. Taz squirmed around trying to get out of his grip and yelled, "Up! (giggling) Come on! (giggling) Let me go!"

"Never!" Up said smiling down at her.

AJ and Johnson heard the ruckus and went to see what was going on. They walked into a rare sight. Up was on top of Taz pinning her arms above her head tickling her while laughing and smiling. She was laughing, squirming and begging to be let go. AJ and Johnson shared a look and yelled "Hey!" and ran out.

Up stopped tickling her for a second and Taz flipped them over.

"Not fair." she pouted out of breath.

"Come on, you know you had fun. Admit it." he said poking her stomach.

Taz smiled and got off him, "Whatever." Up laughed and sat up. "So hey guys left, what do you wanna do?" she asked straightening herself out.

"Hmm, I want to go outside. After you graduate we will rarely be on earth anymore. Besides it's a beautiful day."

"Okay, how about we walk to the park?"

"Sure sounds great."

He stood up and they headed to the park. The talked casually on the way there and enjoyed the nice day. When they got there, Taz insisted they swing. Most rangers worried about their images and were always stuffy out in public. But Taz and Up could careless and spent the next hour running around like kids. Taz glanced at her watch and  **saw**  it was almost two.

"Hey you want to get lunch at the small café up the street?"

"Yeah but I didn't bring any money with me."

"That's okay I have loads of cash, plus birthday boys don't pay for food."

Up chuckled and they walked towards the café. They ate and nice meal and started to head back when they passed a suit shop. Taz pulled him inside.

"You need a new suit, the one you have is falling apart. You've had it forever."

"Taz, my suit is fine and you know I don't have money on me."

"Again I got it. A present from me to you."

"Taz…I don't think so." he said warily. He didn't want her to pay for another thing.

"Please Up." she asked using her puppy dog eyes.

“Ugh fine! You know I can’t resist that look!" he said turning to look around.  _She will be the death of me one day._

Taz asked the store lady to measure him and then set on a mission to find a perfect suit for Up. In the end he got a classic black suit, a white shirt, dress shoes and a black tie.

"Okay, now you have bought me lunch and a present. Thank you Taz." he said hugging her. "Now let’s go back to my room and watch a movie before you try to buy me something else."

"Karate Kid?"

"What else?"

They laughed and went back to base. They got in and Up went to put his suit away. Taz sat on the couch and yawned. Up came in, started the movie and sat next to Taz. She picked up her feet, put them under her and leaned into Up's side. He felt her relax and put his arm around her.

"You make me feel save." she mumbled sleepily. Up blushed and looked down at her. She had fallen asleep. He pulled her close and whispered "Sleep tight Taz."

Taz woke up with her head on Up's chest and his arm around her.

"Woah sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." she said sitting up blushing.

"It’s fine, the movie just ended."

"Really? What time is it?"

"Almost six thirty."

"Shit! Okay. Up. This is going to sound strange but you need to shower, and put on your suit. Basically look really nice and meet me at my room by 7:50 okay?" Taz said hoping he would just do it.

"Alright…but why?"

Taz stepped closer and looked him in the eyes. "Just trust me." Then she turned and left.

_Wow, Taz has beautiful eyes. And I noticed this WHY?_  He thought and got ready. He arrived at her door exactly on time and knocked on her door just in case. The door opened and his jaw dropped.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments? concerns? ~ xoxo Catie :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! hope all is well, enjoy!

*FLASHBACK*

"Taz…you look absolutely beautiful."

Taz was wearing a simple red dress that came just above her knee that was flowly and had some sparkles around her waist like a belt. Her hair fell in soft waves around her face and she put on just enough makeup to make her eyes pop. It was all finished off with some red ballet flats. Taz smiled at Up.

"Thanks, you look very handsome yourself."  _He's more than handsome, he is downright sexy! I didn't think that._

Up had on the suit he got and his light brown hair was slightly tousled with a little gel. He smiled back.

"Thank you but I owe it all to you, you bought me this suit. So what are we doing pretty lady?" She smirked and tried to ignore what he just called her.

"Close your eyes. I am leading you."

Up chuckled, "Really? This seems like a trap."

"Fine I will make it so you don't peak."

Up watched skeptically as she walked back into her room, picked up something red and came back out.

"Taz." he said a little worried.

The last thing he saw was her smile before something was tied around his eyes.

"Now don't try to take it off, its my luck bandana. Alright. Let's go." she said grabbing his hand leading him to the ballroom.

_Her hand fits perfectly in mine. Like two puzzle pieces._ Up thought then shaking his head to clear it,  _What the hell is wrong with me! She is Taz, My best friend._

Taz walked him straight t the door of the ballroom and said "I'm going to take off you blindfold okay?" Up could hear the excitement in her voice. "Alright." She untied the bandana and watch him blink a few times.

"All you need to do is walk through these doors." She said bouncing on her heels.

"Okay?"

"I’ll be right behind you. Promise."

She sent him a huge smile and her eyes were sparkling, Up couldn't help but smile back. He turned the handle and walked in, Taz Right behind him

Everyone Up had ever talked to seemed to be in the room and all at once they yelled, "Surprise! Happy Birthday Up!" and started to cheer. Up was frozen with shock until Taz nudged him. He turned around and picked her up in a hug, spinning her around.

"Taz! I can’t believe you did all of this for me! Thank You!" he put her down and they smiled at each other.

"You’re welcome. I thought it was about time you had a party." she said shyly.  _I can't believe he did that in front of everyone._

Up pulled her into his side and put his arm around her waist, then turned to the crowd.

"I want to thank everyone for coming. I guess I am more liked than I thought if I can fill up a room this big. I want everyone to have a good time. One more thing, I want to thank the very special person who did all of this. Taz. Thank you again, you have no idea how much this means to me." he finished looking her straight in the eye. She was blushing already from him putting his arm on her waist and it was just intensified. "You’re welcome." she whispered.

Somewhere off to the right AJ yelled out, "Let's Party!" The crowd laughed and mostly everyone sat down to wait for dinner. AJ walked up wearing a similar suit to Up and hugged him.

"So were you really surprised bro?"

"Yeah, I can’t believe this is all for me."

Taz spoke up, "You ready to embarrass yourself?"

"No. But Johnson won’t let me out of it." he pouted.

"Come on bro, just do it. We all know Sarah likes you. She will love it because your goofy."

"Okay." he said nervously and headed over towards Sarah.

"He is doing it now?" Taz asked shocked.

"Yeah I think he wants to get it over with." Up said smirking at his younger brother. Johnson came running up with a camera.

"I am so filming this!" The three laughed and watched AJ tap her on the shoulder.  _It’s now or never_. He thought.

She turned around and a huge smile graced her face when she saw who it was.

"Hey AJ."

"Hi Sarah. I have a question to ask you but not in a normal way."

"Alright?" she said confused.

AJ looked at the DJ and the chicken dance came on. He started to dance and people were staring. Sarah was giggling at the silly dance and blushing because almost everyone was looking now. While doing the dance AJ said this.

"Sarah, I have known you since the academy and I have come to really like you. Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

She stood up giggling at how goofy he was and said, "Of course, I will be your girlfriend."

He stopped dancing and pulled her in for a kiss. The room started cheering once more and doing cat calls. The broke apart and looked happier than ever.  _I will have to thank Johnson for this one day._ He thought while taking Sarah to wish Up a happy birthday.

"See I told you it would work out." Up said smiling at the two.

"Yeah, Yeah." he responded looking at Johnson. "You filmed it didn't you?"

"Maybe." They all laughed and Taz said, "Let’s go sit down, dinner is coming soon and I am starving."

Four five minutes later food was done and people were filling the dance floor.

"Thank you for getting Mary to cook dinner. You know I love her steaks." Up said looking at Taz who was watching AJ and Sarah dance _. I want to dance with Up… No I don't! Damn it, this is getting worse._  she thought looking back at him.

"No problem. I wanted this to be an amazing night for you." she smiled gently and excused herself to the restroom. Johnson noticed the tension between them lately and how Taz was watching the dancers then the way she was looking at Up.

"You should ask Taz to dance."

"I didn't think she liked dancing."

"Why don't you ask her and find out?" Johnson said hoping he would do it. Up was abput to answer when Amanda tapped him on the shoulder.

"Would you like to dance?" she asked batting her eyelashes. Johnson raised his eyebrows and Up shrugged his shoulders. "Why not."

Taz came back just in time to see the red headed mentor from breakfast grab Up's hand and leading him to the dance floor.

Taz sat down and asked, "Is that the red headed mentor from this morning?"

Johnson looked at her face and thought _. Wow, Taz looks really hurt. She must like him more than I assumed._

"Yeah but forget her. Would you like to dance my fair lady?" Johnson asking trying to get her feel better.

Taz laughed and said, "Why yes kind sir, I would."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? ~ xoxo Catie


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey enjoy :)

*FLASHBACK*

Taz took Johnson hand and walked on to the dance floor as a semi fast song was playing. He took both of her hands and swung them back and forth trying to loosen her up. Then he let go and started doing some stupid dance moves for what looked like the seventies. Taz started laughing and joined in. Johnson smiled at her and thought,  _There we go_. Then he started doing the running man and Taz almost fell over from laughter.

"Come on Taz, just do whatever! It’s fun!" he said trying to shuffle.

Taz laughed even more and started to do her own thing. She was moving her hips to the beat of the song and waving her arms around smiling at Johnson.  _Up is such an idiot, he has this beautiful girl in front of him and chooses to dance with a freaking bimbo._  he thought smiling back and grabbing one of her hands. He spun her around a few times which caused her to lose balance and fall into him.

"Sorry." she said giggling.

"It’s fine."

He took a step back and she pulled him back.  _If Up can dance with someone else so can I._  Johnson looked at her with questioning eyes, she shrugged he shoulders and just smiled. He was still holding her hand so he grabbed the other and swayed to the music which had speed up some.

Meanwhile, Up was dancing with Amanda. She was so close to him you couldn't fit a piece of paper between them. Any guy would have loved a beautiful woman all over them but he wasn't. Up was trying hard to enjoy it but a certain girl in a red dress kept coming up in his brain.  _This is ridiculous_. Amanda was moving her hips against his and was trailing her hands down his chest.  _I wish this was Taz… I am NOT allowed to think that!_

Up's mind was reeling trying to come up with an explanation for why he wanted Taz to do that sort of stuff to him. He looked at their table and saw that both Taz and Johnson were missing. He scanned the dance floor and saw them dancing. They were holding hands, dancing closely, not as close as Up and Amanda though, sway to the beat, smiling and talking to each other. Up's whole body tensed and all he could think was  _I have to break this up_. He was about to go and do exactly that when the music stopped. Everyone stopped dancing and Amanda whined when Up took a step away from her.

"Hey everyone time for cake!" AJ yelled through the microphone and everyone cheered. Mary motioned for Taz and Up to come to her.

"You like the cake?" she asked Up.

"Yeah it’s amazing!"

"Then thank her." she was pointing to Taz who blushed.

He turned to her, "Wow, this is great! You have done so much for me."

"No problem like I said I wanted it to be an amazing night."

He hugged her and the candles were lit. Everyone sang "Happy Birthday" and cheered some more. He blew out the candles and everyone sat down for cake. People talked after eating while some went for more dancing.

"Oh by the way thanks for the dance Will. You are an excellent dancer." Taz said giggling at Johnson's expression at being called Will.

He smiled and said, "Your welcome, it was fun" with a wink.

Taz laughed, "Sure was. You wanna go dance ag-"

"Actually, I think I owe you dance for everything you have done for me tonight." Up interrupted. He was not allowing them to get that close again.  _Taz is **my**  best friend_. Taz looked shocked while Johnson was expressionless.

"Okay, let’s go." she said heading to the dance floor.

A slow song was playing. Up put his hands on her waist and she put hers on his shoulders. They were pretty close together like she was with Johnson. They shyly smiled at each other and swayed the soft music.

"Taz. I don't know how to thank you properly. The whole day has been so freaking amazing." Up said looking around at her and glancing around the room.

"Up. You are not allowed to thank me anymore. Seeing how shocked and happy you were when you walked in was enough."

"I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you around." he whispered and pulled her closer as a new song started.

"Alright guys this will be the last slow song of the night so don't waste it." the DJ announced.

Taz looked at Up and he smiled, gently wrapping his arms tighter around her. She laid her head against his shoulder and closer her eyes. Up's heart skipped a beat when she did this and he put his chin on the top of her head closing his eyes as well.

**_You're in my arms, and all the world is calm_ **

**_The music playing on for only two_ **

Taz was relaxed and happy. She knew it. She had fallen in love with Up.  _Do I dare tell him?_

**_So close together and when I'm with you_ **

**_So close to feeling alive_ **

Up's heart was pounding, he hoped she didn't notice.

**_A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop,_ **

**_So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_ **

_I love him with everything I have. What do I do?_

**_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_ **

**_And now forever I know,_ **

**_all that I wanted to hold you so close_ **

_I never want to let her go. She belongs right here. With me._

**_So close to reaching that famous happy end_ **

Up moved so they were still very close but their faces were less than an inch apart. He moved a piece of hair out of her face and Taz looked at him. Taz locked eyes with Up. It was like the world stopped, leaving them together.

**_Almost believing this was not pretend_ **

Taz's heart picked up and was pounding with his. They leaned in, lips almost touching but not enough. their breaths mingling.

**_Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come_ **

Up moved his hand from her waist and put it under her chin and their lips met. Taz put her hands on the back of his neck pulling herself closer. Their lips moved slowly against each other. Both wanted to savor the moment. Taz pulled back and went to whisper something but stopped herself. They were both flushed and staring in each other’s eyes. Up noticed how hers were sparkling.

**_So far we are so close_ **

Up couldn't stand it and pulled her in again. He kissed her with everything he had. Taz was surprised at the passion but kissed him right back both wanting to somehow show their feelings through this kiss. He moved his hands to her face and they both smiled. Then something happened.

"Excuse me, Up?" It was Amanda. She had been watching the whole time. There was no way she would let this  ** _girl_** take Up from her.

"Amanda? What do you want?"

She twirled her hair with one hand, batted her eyelashes, and ran one finger down his chest.

"So are we still meeting in my room after the party? I promise I never disappoint."

"Uh..?"

Taz's eyes welded up with tears and she let out a tiny sob.  _How could you._

Up turned around and saw her running away. His heart broke. Amanda took it as a victory and went to kiss him.

"Get off me! All I did was dance with you!" he roared and went after Taz.

**_Oh, how could I face the faceless days_ **

**_If I should lose you now?_ **

Taz ran as fast as should could with tears streaming down her face. When she opened the door she bumped into some one and fell.

"Taz?" it was Johnson.

He helped her up and walked down the hallway around the corner so they could talk privately.

"Taz tell me what's wrong."

She was slumped against the wall, closed eyes and tears silently streaming down her face.

"I love Up." It was silent for a few seconds. "He doesn't love me back. He rather be with someone else."

"What?" Johnson was sure he loved her back. He knelt down and hugged her close to his chest.

"Tell me what happened."

**_We're so close to reaching that famous happy end_ **

**_And almost believing this was not pretend_ **

"Wow." Taz had told him everything. He couldn't believe Up would do that.

Taz was still crying and said, "I love him so much. I didn't realize it until now. He is my everything. I wish I could be with him so bad. But he doesn't love me and never will. I will just have to move on somehow… even if it kills me. I would rather be his friend than lose him forever because he doesn't love me back. I am nothing without him."

"Taz come on, you don't know that. Just tell him."

"Never. This confirmed it for me. He will never love me like I love him. Now you have to promise you'll never tell him. Ever."

"I promise."

**_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_ **

After Johnson promised he sent her to her room to sleep. Up came out and asked where Taz was. Johnson said she wasn't feeling good and went to her room. Up looked confused and went to shut down the party. Every event of that night was never spoken of again. The next day when Up went to talk to her about it she acted like it never happened. It may not have been spoken about but it never left either of their minds.

**_So close, so close and still so far_ **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ????? ~xoxo Catie :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy !

_(Previously) “How do you know she loves me?" Up asked standing._

" _Whenever you’re around she lets her guard down and is happy, and when you touch her she leans in your touch." he clapped Up on the back. "Now go get her!"_

" _Thanks William"_

" _No problem."_

(Back to the Now)

While Up was talking with Johnson Taz went to see the Lieutenant who messed with Up.  _This hijo de puta is going to get it._ Taz was beyond angry. No one messed with Up. No one. She walked through the corridors towards the infirmary thinking of ways to hurt the stupid Lieutenant. She started yelling and pushed open the door as soon as she got there. However she never finished her sentence.

"Alright  _cabron_ you’re in for the…  ** _Derek_**?"

The last word was barely a whisper; she was frozen in the doorway, shock evident on her face. Derek was sitting on the edge of a bed looking up, his bright green eyes wide and a huge smile on his face.

"Tara. I found you."

That snapped Taz out of it and she yelled out, "Don't ever call me that again!"

"Why not?"

"That girl is gone. She died with her family."

"Tara."

Taz walked over to him and slapped him soundly across his face. "I. Said. Don't." she stated menacingly. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Derek's eyes showing surprise and pain but still happiness. Taz's eyes were clouded with uncertainty.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well you stupid ass Commander punched me."

Taz slapped him twice as hard as last time.

"Don't you dare! He is my best friend! Never talk about or speak to him like that again! I meant the ship not the infirmary."

"OW! Okay, okay geez. We finished going through the ruble and they assigned me to this ship." Derek said clutching his cheek and scooting a few inches away.

"Oh."

"That's all you can say.  _Oh._ "

"Yup." Taz said turning to walk out. He reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Taz please. Don't go." He pleaded.

"Derek. I can’t do this." She said facing the door but not moving out of his grasp.

"I know it hurts. Believe me. But I can help." Taz turned her head to look at him.

"I never thought I see you again." Tears weld up in her eye but she forced them away.  _Don't cry over this. You’re strong. It's the past._

Derek stood and grabbed her other hand, turning her towards him. “Me either, I heard rumors about you going into the academy but I could never find you. I now know why. You became Taz. A strong, don't mess with her, kick ass ranger."

"Yeah I did. You became a ranger as well but you stayed behind."

“I had to take care of my little sister. I was the only person she had left."

"Rose. Where is she now?" Taz asked while memories flooded her brain.

Derek smiled, "She got married last year. She is still living in our town in Mexico."

"Wow. Rose is only a year younger than me. I remember her running around with us on our little adventures." Taz said with a light smile but a lot of pain in her eyes.

Derek noticed and pulled her so they could sit down. “Taz, I know it’s painful to think about, but your Mom, Dad, little brother and every one you lost would want to you to be happy. They wouldn't want you suffer. You have to let go of the anger and pain and move on."

Taz looked at him, her tears slowly rolling down her cheeks and got angry.

"You don't understand! I lost everyone, everything! You at least had Rose! So I ran! I took the opportunity I was given and left! The easy way out so I wouldn't have to deal with it! I became the starship ranger everyone fears.  _Taz_. I forced every memory of Tara away and made it so she never existed. I would never be weak again. I would be so strong that nothing I ever loved again could be taken from me again." She finished breathing hard and walking away from him.

Derek stared at her for a few seconds, thinking about what she just said and rubbed his hands over his face which resulted in a hiss of pain. Taz glanced at him and wiped all evidence of tears off her face. She glanced again and walked over the medical cabinet, getting something small and walking back to Derek.

"Let me see your nose. I can fix it right up." He moved his hands to his sides on the bed and titled his head up. Taz prodded his nose lightly to see where the break was and said, "If you ever say anything to Up like this again it will end up 100% worse." Derek lifted his eyebrows questionably and Taz moved his nose back into place by shifting it. Derek yelled out a shriek of pain. Taz tapped it and went to get ice.  _What's with him and her anyway?_

Taz got back with the ice and handed to him. He thanked her and patted the bed for her to sit down. She stood there for a second before sitting further away than last time. An awkward silence settled between them before Derek broke it.

"I remember you fixing my nose back when I stood up to those bullies when they picked on you when we were eleven. Taz smiled but it vanished quickly.

"Ah, come on. That was a smile." he chuckled. "I jumped in front of you. A small, squeaky boy and tried to punch one of them in the face. ending in me injuring myself."

Taz started to laugh, "Yeah, I can’t believe how stupid you were." "Hey!" Derek said acting offended. They laughed for a while longer. "Thanks for that though. I never did thank you for everything you did for me." "No problem. You know I would do anything for you."

Taz locked eyes with him and saw an emotion she saw the last time they spoke. It scared her.  _How can he still feel that way?_  She quickly looked down at her boots. A question was on the tip of her tongue but she didn't want to know the answer if he still remembered. As if Derek had read her mind he asked that very question.

"Do you remember the last conversation we had the last time we saw each other?" he asked in a quiet and serious tone looking for he reaction.  _Come on Tara; please tell me you don't forget._

Taz's mind froze and she nervously breathed in before answering, "Yeah. Yeah, I remember."

**_*FLASHBACK*_ **

_It was at back at her fateful party and she was dancing with Derek. They were best friends. They had been ever since they were put in the same kindergarten class. They grew up together. Through the thick and thin, they were always there for each other. But lately they were becoming more. The classic case of falling for your best friend._

_A slow song came on and they were dancing as close as they could, swaying to the music. It was like no one else exited. They were in their own world. Derek_   _whispered in her ear," You look so beautiful." She smiled and pulled back a little. "Thank you." Their eyes locked. Green met Brown and he leaned in to kiss her._

_It was short but it was a perfect first kiss. They leaned their foreheads together and he whispered, " I love you Tara. I know we are young, but I do. I always will." "I love you too." she whispered back putting her head on his chest. They were each other’s first love._

_A little while later her Dad interrupted for a dance and her life changed forever._

(Back to now..Again)

"That was eight years ago Derek. I was a different person. I have changed and so have you."

"Okay, so where does that leave us now?" he asked pushing a stray piece of hair back in her bandana. Taz blushed at his innocent action.  _What the heck?! Like you said it’s been eight years! You’re not allowed to react!_

"Friends. We are friends."

"Okay then. Can I just say how much I missed you?" he said taking he hand.

"Alright, I know we always used to hold hands and tuff but we can’t anymore." Derek let go and looked hurt. "Hey.”Taz said not wanting to hurt him, "I missed you too." she said nudging his arm and smiled. “Can I at least get a hug?" he asked almost sheepishly. Taz nodded.

They stood up and wrapped their arms around each other while smiling. Taz's head ended up on his chest. They were reminiscent of how they danced eight years ago. Just then Up decided to walk in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback? :) ~xoxo Catie


	10. Chapter 10

"What the  _hell?_!" Up exclaimed seeing the two hugging. "Up!" Taz yelped jumping back, her face flushed. "What are you doing here?" Up was so confused.  _Why was she hugging **him**_?

"I..well..I..came to see you..What the hell is going on?!" he finally asked. Derek stepped forward a smirk planted on his face.

"She came to see an old friend."

"I didn't ask you.", Up snapped back resisting to punch him once more.

Derek went to respond but Taz had nudged him and gave him a look. He sighed, smiled slightly at her, and walked back to the bed sitting down.  _What's with Taz and him? It took one look to make him back off._ She turned to Up and said, “Why don't we go to your room and I will explain everything."

Up looked at her carefully then back at Derek, Taz was standing with her arms crossing over her chest, her face was passive, but her eyes gave her away. They were swirling in emotion, he couldn't tell which ones. Derek was sitting on the bed, reclined slightly against the side of his pillow, feet hanging off, and holding ice to his nose. His gaze made Up clinch his fists, it was directed straight at Taz. It was unwavering like she would disappear into thin air. Up couldn't make heads or tails of the situation. It pissed him off even more.

"Fine." he growled out between clenched teeth like a lion ready to pounce. Taz nodded to Derek before walking out the door to the infirmary into the hallway. Up glared at him and slammed the door open following her out towards his room. The walk through the corridors was packed with tension rolling off them in droves. Neither knew what was to happen but they both knew nothing would ever be the same between them again.

Every step away from the infirmary was a step away from their comfortable relationship and into the unknown.

They reached Up's room and he punched the code in and held the door for Taz. She glanced at him as she passed and almost gasped out loud. He had his "Ranger" mask on. No emotion. He had never of used that on her before.  _How do I fix this?_ He closed the door behind him and walked into the living room where Taz was sitting in the couch. He stood against the door way and his eyes flicked to her, his expression never changing. She frowned slightly at the distance and lack of emotion before sitting up straight.

"Where do I start?" Her voice was quiet and barely reached Up. He blinked once and stated, "The beginning." Taz paled slightly and said, "Okay but before I start you have to understand something. I never told you because I thought I would never see him again. I told you everything else and it was all the truth. I just left Derek out."

Up blinked once again and she took it as her cue to continue. "It starts from when I was a little kid…" Taz began and told their story from best friends in kindergarten to high school loves, and finally what happened that day. "So I told him we were just friends. That's when you walked in."

Through the story Taz never looked up from her hands once. She was terrified of his reaction; she could only imagine his expressions. However, he had kept his "Ranger" mask on throughout the whole story while he slowly died inside. Derek was her first love and he was back for her heart once again. Up had lost his chance before he used it, her heart belonged to Derek first. He was too late. It nearly broke his heart into two.

The silence stretched on until he caught sight of tears running down her cheek. He exhaled slowly and walked over to the couch and sat down. "Taz. Look at me." She kept her down and hair was covering most of her face. She was scared of him.  _He hates me. I should have told him. It is a huge thing and we tell each other everything._

Up put his finger under her chin and lifted her head. She looked at his face and only saw concern which replaced the terrible mask. Eventually she braved looking into his eyes and was immediately captivated. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and said, "No need to cry. I am not angry with you." He wiped the tears away until she stopped crying. He slowly found his right hand continuing down the side of her face with a feathery light touch. It was totally an unconscious move and it didn't stop there.

The light touch went from her check, trailing down the side of her neck and down her arm, making her shiver. Ending up intertwined with her left hand. Taz looked at their hands and looked back up, fear evident now in her eyes. Up couldn't stand it and pulled her into a hug. Taz breathed a sigh of relief and put her head on his chest. He gripped her harder and kissed the top of her head. A few moments later he pulled back and put his forehead against hers and intertwined their hands once more. Their gazes locked and breath mingled.

"You were best friends, it happens." He murmured.

"More than you think."

Up's eyes widened just a bit and Taz put a hand to her mouth.  _Did I just say that out loud?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it? ~xoxo Catie :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey how are you? Enjoy!

Breaking the connection, Taz pulled her hand away and backed up a little. "I didn't think I said that out loud." "Well you did", Up stated and lifted her face to him once more. Blue met brown and the energy returned. Up put his hand on her cheek and she closed her eyes. He slowed leaned in and whispered "Taz." She opened her eyes, saw how close he was and leaned in the rest of the distance. The kiss was soft and sweet but left them breathless. They pulled back and were about to lean in once more when a thought crossed Up's mind _. Does she still have feelings for Derek?_

Up immediately stopped and pulled back again, scaring himself with that thought. Taz had frozen from the random change and saw his confused expression.  _Merida, I crossed the line._ "Up, what's wrong?" Taz asked terrified that she went too far. Up cleared his throat and asked, "Do you still have any feelings for Derek?" He watched her emotions play out. Confusion, thoughtfulness, shock, and confusion once more. She really wasn't ready to answer that question.

_What? Derek? No of course not_. Images of them together flashed through her mind and she felt longing. She missed Derek. She missed them being together.  _I can't have feelings for him after all of this time. Can I?_ "I don't know."

Up physically flinched and a flash of pain crossed his face before the mask was back. Taz didn't see that however because she was staring at her hands trying to figure everything out. The tone of one word however, got her to look up and see the terrible mask once more. "Oh." The tone was detached and angry. She sat there trying to decipher him. He was angry, shut her out, comforting, kissed her, and now was shutting her out again.  _He is not allowed to toy with me like this._

"Oh? Oh what Up?" Taz said with a little venom. "Nothing." There was that tone again. Taz stood and yelled, "No Up! Damn It! I am your best friend, quit shutting me out!" "I am not shutting you out!” He yelled back and stood as well. "Yes you are! You're using your stupid "Ranger" mask on me! You have never done that before. Why now? What did I do? We are best friends, we tell each other everything. What changed?" Taz questioned her voice getting quieter as she went on.

"So what if I am shutting you out it's none of your business", Up growled. "The hell it isn't! Why won't you just tell me?" "It is none your business Taz." Up turned to leave but Taz whispered, "Does our friendship mean nothing to you?" Up turned his head just enough to see her. She was shaking and had her arms wrapped around her body. "Of course", he whispered back not moving an inch. "Then tell me what's wrong."

He closed his eyes and mumbled quietly. "What Up?" He couldn't take it anymore; he spun around and yelled, "I am in love with you! But you don't love me back." Taz didn't respond. They stood there staring and listening to each other breath.

"Do you?" Up whispered needing to know. Taz closed her eyes and silent tears ran down. "I don't know anymore. I thought I did but with everything that just happened.. I just don't know", she confessed. When Taz opened her eyes she saw something that she never wanted to see again. Up had taken two steps back was leaning against door way again. This time however, he was shaking with silent sobs. "Up, I..." He interrupted, "No. Just stop. I knew I was too late. Just forget this. Forget any of this happened. Go for your first love.", and with that he left.

"Wait! Come back!" He was already gone.  _What the hell just happened?_  Taz sunk to the floor and cried in earnest.  _It cannot end like this. I have to find him and try to explain. I can't let him go._ She stood and went to leave his room. She opened the door and went to run but she was stopped by running into someone. "Taz? What happened?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any advice? ~ xoxo Catie


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! I hope you like it!

"Taz? What happened?" It was Johnson.

"I have to fix this! Please! Just move!" Taz begged trying to get around William.

"Whoa! Taz calm down!" he exclaimed grabbing her hands, "Tell me what's going on."

Taz stood there taking in big breaths, trying to calm down and looking at Johnson as if the world had crashed down around her.

"I...I...Up...I don't know what to do.", she finally stuttered out as a fresh wave of tears streamed down her face. Johnson's heart broke watching one of his best friends in so much pain. He couldn't take anymore and pulled her to him. Taz clung to him and continued to sob.

"Tazzy. I will fix this okay? I swear." Will picked her off her feet and carried her to her room around the corner. He tucked her in bed and said, "Try to get some sleep. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Thanks Will." Taz whispered as he walked out. He shut her door and headed to where he knew Up would be.  _You better have a good explanation for this one Up._

A few minutes later Johnson was walking into the library in the abandoned part of the ship. It used to be a place that Taz, Up and himself would go and hangout away from everyone else when they all first got assigned to Starship 15A2. It had this hidden area with two couches facing a huge window showing the beauty of space and surrounded by shelves of books. Up, exactly as Will predicted, was sitting on one of the couches staring out the window. He walked over and sat down.

"You better have a good reason why I had to take care of a heart broken Taz for the second time in our friendship."

Up spun around to look at him, "What do you mean  _second_  time?"

"That's not the point at the moment. What the hell happened? Taz couldn't even form complete sentences because she was so upset."

Anger flashed through Up's eyes and he clenched his fists, "Why is she upset! She is free to be with Derek. They live happily ever after."

Johnson stared in confusion and surprise at his outburst. "What are you talking about? Taz loves you. Since the moment you met and always will. Who is this  _Derek_  guy?

"He is the dumb ass Lt. I punched earlier. Apparently he is from Taz's past. They were best friends..."

"So what does an old friend have to do with any of this?"

"You didn't let me finish. They were each other’s first love."

"Okay and..?" Johnson prodded and Up tuned to the window again.

"She doesn't know if she still loves him or not. I kissed her and told her I loved her. Then she dropped that on me. So I ran away telling her just to forget it, all of it. Now I don't know what to do."

Johnson let out a low growl and stood in front of the window making sure he was all Up could focus on. He wanted his full attention to establish his anger. "I usually leave these situations for you to handle and I pick up the piece after. Not this time. You have put Taz through a lot and I am not letting you do it anymore. You have two options, One," one finger went up. "You fight for her. Or Two," a second finger went up. "You stay away from her. You let her be happy with this Lt."

The room was silent for about thirty seconds before Up said, "You're threatening me." Johnson narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I care too much about Taz to let this continue, so yes I believe I am." With that he left the room.

Up pulled at his hair in frustration _, what the hell just happened_? He stood up and started to pace, thinking over everything that happened in the last twenty four hours. He sat down once more feeling drained emotionally and physically. "When did we get so complicated Taz?" he asked aloud and his eyes began to droop. One last thought crossed his mind before falling into a fitful sleep. _Things used to be so simple and easy between us._

*Flashback*

A year had passed after Up's birthday and neither Up nor Taz would acknowledge it happened. The year was spent getting Taz ready to graduate the Academy. After many training lessons, tests, and a lot of hard work, graduation day finally arrived. All of the cadets were sitting on stage in their regular uniforms eagerly awaiting the start of the ceremony. The audience was packed with families and other rangers. Taz looked across the sea of people and found her family. There was AJ, Sarah, Johnson and of course Up. They all were dressed nicely, the guys in dress shirts and slacks while Sarah was in a summer dress. She caught Up's eye and smiled. He grinned and waved back with a wink.

The ceremony started with the Head of the entire Galactic League coming out on stage, Dr. Spaceclaw. He was a tall and bulky man, with brown hair and green eyes. Up didn't particularly care for him; there was something about him he couldn't trust. Spaceclaw came out and introduced himself then gave a speech on how each cadet was special and courageous for wanting to be a Starship Ranger. Then he talked about the bright future of the G.L.E.E. and how advanced space exploration had become.

Eventually, all of the speeches were over and it was time for diplomas. Dr. Spaceclaw began calling out names and handing out diplomas. Along with them, cadets would get a Ranger uniform with their name sewn on it, so it took a long time to get to Taz. Finally it was her turn to go up but instead of calling out her name Spaceclaw began saying something else.

"Our next graduate is very different from the others."

Taz felt all eyes focus on her as a spotlight was placed on her. She tried not to react and met Up's eyes with a questioning glance. All she got in return was a shrug and a slight smile.

"Taz will you come join me up here please?" She got up and walked to the podium with a smile, hoping everything was okay.

"Now I want to make an example of Taz for future generations. She is the best cadet the Academy has ever seen. She worked her ass off and graduated in three years instead of four, while being ranked number one in her class. So in reward for all of her hard work and assiduous effort the G.L.E.E. awards her with the valedictorian medal."

Taz gasped in surprise and a huge smile came across her face. As Spaceclaw gave her the diploma, the Ranger uniform and put the medal around her neck the whole place went crazy. The cadets started yelling out and joined the audience in a standing ovation. Taz shook Spaceclaw's and turned to the audience mouthing thank you and bowing, earning more yelling. Taz let out a joyous laugh in response, bowed once more and went to sit down. After the place calmed down, Spaceclaw called the rest of the names and ended the ceremony with saluting the new Rangers. Up and the rest went outside to wait for Taz.

Johnson grabbed Up's arm and said in mocking high voice, "Our little girl is all grown up! Where did the time go?!" Up pretended to wipe tears off his face, "I don't know, I can remember the first time she cussed out AJ." Everyone laughed and AJ stuck his tongue out at them. Just then Taz opened the door and spotted them. She took off running and was heading straight for Up. He turned around and caught her in his arms, picking her up into a hug.

"I am so proud of you Tazzy," he whispered putting her down.

"Thanks, I couldn't have done it without you though."

"Well of course, I'm a great mentor," Up responded pretending to poof up his hair. Taz laughed with him and pushed his shoulder.

Hey Taz, you know we exist as well?" AJ jabbed with his signature smirk.

She spun around and hugged all three of them saying, "Of course thank you for coming it means the world to me."

"We'd do anything for you Taz, you know that. So you wanna head off to dinner?" Johnson said putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah, we can go to Magiano's down the street."

"Sounds good to me," Sarah said grabbing Taz's hand, "Come on I brought extra clothes for you to change into, I had a feeling we would go somewhere for dinner."

"Okay, thanks Sarah." Taz said turning to AJ, "You have the keys to the car?"

"Yes, and?" Taz glared at his smirking face ready to strike.

"Sweetie give me the keys or you'll be sleeping alone tonight." Sarah ordered smiling in triumph when he turned red and handed her the keys. As they walked away they heard AJ mumbling under his breath threats to Up and William what would happen if they didn't stop laughing.

Fifteen minutes later they were all seated at Magiano's. Taz had changed into a simple black flowy skirt, a purple blouse, and had let her down which ended just past her shoulders. They were sat in a booth so it was Up, Taz, Johnson, Sarah, and AJ. UP's mind began to wonder while everyone talked and ate. He began to think of how far Taz had come. She was fixed on becoming a Ranger and now she was. He was with her every step of the way. He challenged her so much as her mentor during their three years together. He found out how far she could go physically and how she dealt with things emotionally.

He remembered when they first started training. She was so quiet and kept to herself, after a while she opened up and showed him how amazing she really was. She became his best friend. The person he wanted to spend every second with. Before Taz his life was good but he always felt as though there was something missing. Then she came along, like a beautiful melody swirling through his life, filling in all of the empty spaces, lifting him so high he couldn't imagine anything better.  _It terrified him_. He knew it would hurt when she left after he started to become friends with her. However, that was three years ago. He never even expected them to be as close as they were and the time to fly past like it did. Now here he was pretty much addicted to her presence and she was going to leave as a Starship Ranger. He knew he had to make the time they had left last.

"Hey, Taz?" Up interrupted her conversation with Sarah and she turned to him with a semi- annoyed face, "Oh. Sorry." He apologized lowering his head. Taz lifted it back up with her hand, "Hey its fine what did you want?"

Up looked at the others with smile in which they all returned and said, "You knew we all are so proud of you as we said earlier, so we have a little present for you." He pulled out five tickets, "Here".

Taz took them gently and exclaimed, "Really?! I love you guys!" they were round trip tickets for them all to go to Europe for a week.

"We thought that we should all spend some time together before you head off and become a big bad Starship Ranger." Johnson said poking her side.

Taz giggled and asked, "Okay, so when do we leave?"

"Day after tomorrow." Taz's eyes got huge and she looked worried.

"Its okay love, I'll help you pack." Sarah said patting her hand.

Taz left out a breath, "Thanks, I have never been anywhere for more than two days, I am a little nervous but way for excited."

The next day passed quickly and departure day arrived. Taz was up at the crack of dawn and was buzzing with excitement. Everyone else got up and they made it to the airport just in time for their 8'o clock flight. Since their base was in Boston the flight should have been around seven hours. Johnson sat with Sarah and AJ with Taz and Up in the row behind them. Taz had never of flown over the ocean so she called the window seat. Up didn't mind, watching her stare out the window in fascination was a great view. Since Taz hadn't really slept the night before and had gotten up so early she had dozed off with her head against the window. UP took off his leather jacket and draped it over her. She awoke a few hours later to find him looking at her.

"Hi, how long was I asleep?"

"A few hours, we have about three hours left."

"Okay, here's you jacket back. Thanks by the way." Taz commented trying to hand it back but he pushed it back.

"Keep it for a while. It is kinda cold in here, Plus in looks good on you."

Taz smiled and tried to put it on properly but since it was big on her she was having trouble. Up helped her and smoothed his hands over her shoulders. Taz turned her head to look at him as he leant forward. Up was trying to fight the urge to kiss her; there were only a few inches. He saw the almost daring look in her eyes and glanced down to see her lick her lips.  _Screw it._ He was an inch away from meeting her lips when AJ turned around.

"Hey guys, you want to…  ** _Oh_**.. uh.. sorry."

Up snapped back facing his little brother who looked back sheepishly, "It okay Andrew, what did you want?"

"You wanna play go-fish with us?"

Taz giggled and said, "What are we little children?" AJ pouted at her, "I'll play." AJ smiled and hand both of them cards.

Up shook his head at them and asked, "Who said I was playing?"

"Me." AJ retorted sticking his tongue out and Up flicked his ear in response. Then the slap fight started. Sarah spoke up, "Now boys. You better behave or you will be put in time out."

Everyone laughed and began to play the game. Taz acted like the moment they had never happened and he couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing. Finally the pilot announced they would be landing in Heathrow airport in a few minutes, Taz got all bouncy with excitement which was contagious. Soon all of them were really excited. Looking out the window while landing they could see the city.

"Its beautiful I can't wait to see it all!" Taz said grabbing his hand to show her excitement. She didn't seem to realize it until Up squeezed it back in reassurance. They smiled at each other and didn't let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it going? ~ xoxo Catie :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!

After a forty minute cab ride into central London the gang of friends reached their hotel. The boys went to grab all of the luggage out of the back while the girls went to go check in. “Reservation for Sarah Harper please”. The woman and the desk looked up at them with a smile, “Sure, one moment”. Taz was looking around admiring all of the beauty in the hotel when it suddenly hit her. “Sarah, did you only get one room?”

“Yeah, there are two beds and a couch bed”.

“Okay obviously you and AJ are sharing one of the beds, but what about Will, Up, and I?”

Sarah smirked and responded, “I guess you’ll have to figure that out”.

Taz gulped, _Oh crap. This is not going to end well._ “AJ is starting to have an effect on you more and more every day, isn’t he?” Sarah just laughed in response.

“What am I doing?” AJ asked as he walked up to them, the other two right behind him. “You have corrupted little innocent Sarah! She is beginning to meddle just like you.” Taz accused poking him in the chest.

“Ow! Taz! That hurt!”

“Yeah right idiota!”

“It did!” AJ pouted turning to Sarah, “Kiss it and make it all better?”

Sarah rolled her eyes and pecked his lips, “You are such a baby Andrew.”

The lady at the counter spoke up then, “Here are your room keys M’am. If you need anything during your stay just ask. Um… word to the wise, if you are too rowdy you can be kicked out.” They proceeded to say thank you and walk to the elevators. Sarah grabbed her bag from Johnson and announced, “Well we all better be on our best behavior, I don’t feel like being homeless in a foreign country.”

“When she says “we” she means you AJ.” Up corrected causing everyone to laugh. Sarah informed them as they rode up to their floor, “We are on floor ten, room twenty three. They only gave us three cards. So Up, Will, and I have them ok? If more are needed I will get some.”

Once everyone reached the door to their room Up swung it open and they all gasped. The hotel room was humongous and stunning. The entryway opened up into a living room with a golden couch and three crème colored chairs big enough for two people. They were facing a flat screen TV with a glass wall behind it showing a balcony, which was reached through a door in the wall, looking out over the city. To the right of the living room was the kitchen with a fridge, sink, oven, and an island with five chairs along it. To the left of the living room there were three doors. Two were bed rooms with their own bathrooms. The third door was an extra bathroom. Everything in the hotel room was gold and/or crème with navy blue accents. It made it as if sunshine had been infused into the room.

Johnson let out a low whistle, “Damn. This is amazing.” Everyone nodded in agreement. AJ and Sarah went to put their stuff away in the first bedroom. Taz shrugged her shoulders and went to sit on the couch. Will and Up looked at each other and followed suit. After a while Up spoke “So obviously we need to figure the sleeping arrangement out. The question is how?”

“Well there is no way Taz is sleeping on the couch.” Johnson said covering up Taz’s mouth so she couldn’t argue. She tried to pull his hand off to do just that but Up agreed before she could speak. “Right, we can just trade off each night.

“Sounds good to me,” Johnson said getting off the couch, “Rock, paper, scissors for tonight?”

“Sure thing.”

Three rounds later Johnson won and left to go put his stuff in the second bedroom, Up sat back down next to Taz who had her arms crossed glaring straight ahead. Up sighed and tugged on a piece of her hair, “Hey what did we do wrong?” Taz turned her glared on him, “Just because I am a girl doesn’t mean I get treated differently.”

“You mean us giving you the bed?”

“Yes.”

“Taz this isn’t about you being a girl, I know you don’t like being catered to or treated as if you are weaker. This vacation is to celebrate all of your hard work and for being a bad ass.” He nudged her side, “You get the bed because you earned it. Besides everyone knows that if we fought for the bed you would win.”

Taz’s glare broke and she smiled, “That’s damn right!” Up smiled back, his eyes glinting mischievously “Well everyone but me.”

“Oh really, you want me to prove it?” Taz challenged standing and posing to fight. Up gasped and covered his face with his hands peeking through his fingers. “Please no! I concede! I don’t wanna die!” Taz blinked in response then proceeded to fall back on the couch laughing. Soon Up joined in, their laughs echoing off the hotel walls.

A few minutes later they were wiping tears off their faces and trying to catch their breath. During their laughter they had scooted closer together. Now they were slumped against each other, Up’s right side against Taz’s left. He seemed to be the first to notice. _This is nice. I like being close to Taz,_ _we use to be this way all of the time,_ _then it all stopped after my party. Why can’t we be close again?_ With that thought he grabbed her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.

Taz had just gotten herself relaxed when she felt Up hold her hand. She looked down at their entwined hands and felt her heart speed up. _I missed this. I tried to distance myself after his party a year ago but I love him too much. This is ok, this is good, and this is safe. Best friends hold hands all the time._ Then Up smoothed his thumb across hers causing her to let out a startled gasp. “I know I have said this already but I am so proud of you Tazzy.” She looked up and nodded with a smile sensing he had more to say, “You have come so far and beat every single odd that was against you. I know if your family was here they would be just as proud.”

“Thank you Up. I know they would be proud…” Taz paused to compose herself, talking about her family was hard for her. He knew that so he squeezed her hand in support and stroked her thumb again for comfort. “… I really miss them, more than anyone will ever know. The only thing that got me through it all, from losing mi familia to now and everything in between, is you. You have been my rock, my hope, my best friend, and I honest have no idea what I would do without you.” She finished and squeezed his hand in return.

They stared at each other waiting to see what the other will do, neither wanting to ruin the moment. The tension between them was full of emotions, words not spoken sparking through their eyes.  The air was ignited when Up glanced at her lips and back to her eyes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes no maybe so? lol ~xoxo Catie :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter over a year ago and this story is years old. If you like it I need to know to start writing again lol. Enjoy!

Up leaned forward and stopped an inch away, their noses brushing. He placed his free hand on her cheek and waited for her to close the gap. It was him asking her permission, he didn’t want to do anything she didn’t absolutely want. Taz searched Up’s eyes trying to see what he was feeling, not sure if she should take that leap again. Staring back at her was blue eyes full of adoration and slight nervousness. It was everything she needed. Taking a deep breathe Taz’s last thought was _this could be it_.

“SHIT!” Johnson exclaimed as he opened the door to step out into the living room. The pair on the couch sprung apart almost too opposite ends, their faces bright red. Will might have laughed if he didn’t feel so bad. He had heard their laughter from the bedroom earlier and hoped they were finally completely ok with each other again. He knew they how in love with each other they were but something always seemed to get in their way before they could confess it. Now it was him who got in their way. He didn’t mean to! He was just surprised that’s all! He wasn’t prepared to walk out and have them be that close.

“Sorry! Sorry!” he apologized and ran back into the second bedroom. Up cleared his throat and rubbed the back of neck while Taz bounced her knee and stuttered, “ Um I … I’m …. Uhhhh …”. She was rapidly looking for a way out and spotted it in the kitchen. “I am going to get ice!” she shouted jumping up to grab the bucket and sprint from the room. The slamming of the hotel door signaled to the others to emerge from their rooms. Up now had his head in his hands and was obviously berating himself. AJ looked to Sarah who shrugged, they had been a tiny bit distracted while they were um… unpacking. They looked to Will who shook his head as if to say just leave him alone. He knew Up wasn’t ready to talk about his feelings with Taz let alone the rest of the group. A little confused Andrew went to cheer him up.

“Hey big bro, you wanna go out on the town tonight?” Up lifted his head and slowly smiled at his little brother, “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, how about dinner, dancing, and a little exploring?” AJ responded getting nods of approval from both Sarah and Johnson. “Sure sounds good. I think I’ll go jump in the shower and get ready then.” Up reasoned leaving the room.

Sarah spoke after he was completely gone, “If you don’t want to talk to Up about what happened that’s understandable but I know Taz. She needs to talk about it or it will overwhelm her. So you guys get ready and I’ll go find Taz.” With that she swept from the room leaving a since of finality behind. “She is scary when she takes charge, good luck with that dude.”  Will pointed out and laughing at AJs worried facial expression. “Oh it’s so on William” he challenged and chased Johnson with a couch pillow.

Meanwhile, Sarah finally found Taz. She was sitting back against the ice machine hugging the ice bucket. “Taz? Darling, what happened? She questioned joining her on the floor. Taz glanced at her and scoffed “ Did you and Andrew have fun **_unpacking_**? You guys make out like teenagers.” Immediately Sarah’s hand flew to her neck covering the fresh hickey.

“I told him not to do that! He is dead when I get back!”

“It’s a good thing I am getting ice! Don’t worry; I’ll help you cover it with makeup. It’s kind of cute, mostly gross, but cute.” Taz reasoned.

“Ok weirdo, now what happened?” Taz started playing with her hair and told Sarah what occurred between her and Up. “Damn it William! He has the worst timing sometimes. How are you feeling about it over all?”

“I feel…” Taz sighed deeply almost tiredly, “scared. I want him so much and that’s terrifying.” Sarah took her hand, “That’s what love is supposed to feel like, terrifying in the best ways. You just have to give it a chance and see where it goes.”

“I know it’s been a year since the party and the incident with **_that tramp_**.” Taz practically spit the last part, “but we are just getting back to being comfortable around each other like we used to. I missed us. I don’t want to have it messed up again.” She finished staring into the ice bucket like it held all of the answers. Sarah felt the conflicting emotions coming from her and grabbed her second hand. “Hey look at me.” Taz looked up, “Everything while be okay. There is an easy fix.” Taz’s eyes widened in disbelief, “Yeah, like what?”

“Do what feels right, for you and between the two of you. Do what makes you happy, whether that be jumping Up when you get back to the room or taking it super slow. I know you don’t think he loves you like you love him but you guys were just about to kiss! It means he obviously has feelings and the fact that he was basically asking your permission proves how good of a guy he is. He would never do anything he wasn’t sure that you wanted. The signs of feelings are there you just have to let them lead you guys together, the speed of which you arrive is your decision.”

“You’re right, thank you. I knew I kept you around for a reason.” Taz responded and the pair hugged. “Now let’s go get sexy for our night out!” Taz has a face splitting smile just as Sarah hoped and they ran off to the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do you want more? I need to know. ~ xoxo Catie :)

**Author's Note:**

> So ??? Please let me know xoxo ~ Catie


End file.
